All I can say is that I am still getting used to

My new normal.
I guess life will never be the same.  I will miss her at every turn, something will always bring her to mind.  Be it something I read, see or smell.  She is always with me, yet she isn't.  People tell me it takes a long time, they say the pain gets less and less with each passing day. I am still waiting.  I know my life has to continue and I plod through every day, loving and caring for those who are still with me and missing the one who isn't. It affects my ability to blog and I really should not let it.  She would be so mad at me if she knew.  She told me to keep living and that I would be OK, yet I really am not.  Sometimes I feel so selfish.  I am not the only mother whose child has gone before her.  I won't be the last either.  Other times I feel so lost, so empty.  There was so much to tell her, so much I wanted her to know about how deeply I loved her.......I wonder, did she really know.  She had questions and I answered them, but did she believe me? Some day, soon, I will have my answer.  Some day, I will sit with her again and I will be able to answer those questions for her. If she does not know now, I will tell her then.
Really, that was not what I came here to write, I try to keep it inside, now it isn't any longer.  Now the world knows.
Krissy, it has been almost 16 months and still the tears flow every day.  I know it is not what you wanted.  It is not what I want either.  I want to remember you as the bright beautiful giving woman you were, yet always in front of all are the questions, the ones I don't know if you really believed me when I answered them for you.  Life is so full of if only's and mine is If Only I knew that you believed me.  I loved you with all of my heart and soul and I await the day we can sit together again.

Where Does the time go?

I cannot believe it has been over a month since I have been here.  I love blogging, I just find myself with so many irons in the fire these days that blogging has taken a back seat to everything else.
I am deep into fund raising for my upcoming trip to Africa.  I have a tentative date of November 2014 set for it.
I have a goal of taking 1000 dresses with me for the little girls I meet while I am there.  I sew with an organization called Dress a Girl International. Their goal is that every little girl should have a pretty dress.  We make very simple dresses and we give them wherever we see a need. In a third world country, one of our little dresses may also act as an insurance policy for the child wearing it.  Often children are stolen and sold into the sex trade.  It is known that little girls wearing the dresses we sew are less likely to be stolen because they look like they have someone who cares for and would miss them.  http://www.dressagirlaroundtheworld.com/

In my desire to take 1000 dresses with me, I have had a website created giving you the opportunity to sponsor as many dresses as you would like for the little girls in Tanzania and Congo where I hope to be traveling. Dresses for sponsorship
If I am able to sponsor all 1000 dresses, I will be able to take between 12 and 15 thousand dollars with me to fund the projects I am connected with over there.
One of my current ideas is to present fashion shows highlighting the dresses I will be taking with me. I would love to have the opportunity to do so at ladies luncheons and parties in the coming year. I can do this easily here in the Pacific Northwest, but am also willing to travel outside of my comfort zone to do so.  I have the ability to fly for free so I can go almost anywhere I am asked to come.  Perhaps you would consider hosting a "fashion show" at one of your future luncheons.  You can contact me through my website.  My phone number is there.

Below are three dresses I will be taking with me.  Just a sample of what is available for sponsorship.

Wordless Wednesday Autumn Serinity

Applesauce or Apple Juice?

Life..............

Dress A Girl Dress I made this week.  The top is crocheted by my daughter Karyn and I added the skirt.
This dress was sponsored for $15.00 about 20 minutes after I posted it on Face Book.  Thank you Katie Cunningham.

Dress A Girl dress I made last week.  I cut a toddlers T-shirt just 1.5 inches below the sleeve opening and added the skirt.  This dress was actually sponsored before it was made.
Thank you Claudia Cope

Looking North up the Swinomish Channel in LaConner Washington.  A sweet little town that is a delight to visit.

Looking South on the Swinomish Channel in LaConner Washington
The Rainbow bridge that crosses the channel in the background.

My Sister Jacque

A very favorite picture of my family.
Taken in December of 2011.  We knew Kris was sick and had a very short time left with us.

It seems once you fall out of the blogging groove, it can be difficult to get back in.  I am posting a few pictures of my life in recent days.  Of course they have been filled with caring for grandchildren and great grandchildren. I have squeezed in some sewing and spent one day cleaning my house with the help of my friend Rebecca.
My sister Jacque who is suffering from cancer has been at my house for the past week.  She generally lives in Seattle with one of her daughters. Last week she went to the hospital for a transfusion and they discovered she had pneumonia. After a couple of days in the hospital she came out here. This is the third time she has come and stayed a week with me because she has difficulty breathing in Seattle. She was very weak when she came out, but she seems to gain in strength. Having her here isn't any problem at all.  She can do most things for herself, spends her time in her bed or in the living room on the couch. The only added work is the small meals she needs through out the day. She will be returning to Seattle on Tuesday as she needs treatment again during the week. She was getting a bit stir crazy (a good sign) on Saturday so we took a drive North and West to the little village of LaConner.  It is a fun touristy town. It was a warm day and we took a very short walk along the shore of the Swinomish Channel. We both were pretty tired by the time we got home.
The web site for my Africa trip is up and running. http://www.netturtlestudios.com/evy/   I have about 100 dresses I need to take pictures of and get loaded onto the site. The sponsorship program is going very well.  Since I announced it in early August, I have received $1000.00 in sponsorship.  Only $14,000.00 to go. I will be doing a presentation at my church this coming Sunday.
I included the picture of my family because it makes me so happy every time I see it. The way we were. It was a happy bittersweet day.  Knowing we would never have a complete family photo done again and being together as an entire family having a great day together.

Lunch bags my daughter Gina and I made for her children.

One I made for the neighbor girl for her birthday.
Now I have one in process for granddaughter Olivia.  Can't make one for Kate and not for her.

Isabella not appreciating in any way taking a bath in Gramma's sink.

A bag I made my friend.

It folds flat and to about the size of the little brown pocket on the front so you can tuck it into your purse for when you go grocery shopping.

New couch.  You can see where I tuck my laptop when I am not using it too.

So, probably I should head to bed as I know I have another very busy week ahead of me this coming week too.  Gotta get some much needed rest.

I will leave you with...........................................................

The obligatory shot of Pepper.
She lost her perch on the big comfy green couch.  I tried to make her comfortable on the table but she will have nothing to do with it.

Eight months, but ain't no one counting

Zip Line on Camano Island.  Fall of 2012

Memorial Day Weekend.  A fun weekend tradition with their friends.

2012

With her youngest son Andrew

With her niece Olivia.  It was Olivia's turn to create a Chemo Buddy.

Sick as she was, she always had a smile. But she cried too, yes she did.  She did not want to die.  She wanted to watch her sons grow up, finish their educations and marry. She wanted to grow old with Joseph, now he will grow old without her.
I did not have any favorite children. They all are very unique people who hold a special place in my heart. I am proud of each of them for the strong beautiful people they matured into. That special place Kris held in my heart is still there.  I am stuffing it full of memories, happy ones of her smiling and having fun. I miss her with my entire being and I know I will until the day we are together again in Heaven.
Eight months but who is counting.................

I kind of had a little dry spell

But, I am back for now. It might be a bad idea to try to catch up in one post, but here goes.
With my fundraising project, 30 dresses are now sponsored.  That means I only have to find sponsors for 970 more dresses.

 A person that I went to High School with sent me a check for $100.00. She said she wanted to help me dress the little boys and felt it would be better to send the money than try to buy things and mail them to me from Arkansas. This week, I went to JC Penny's and purchased 14 little shirts for $1.97 each. I do not have pictures of some others I also purchased, but of the $100.00, I have spent just over $50.00.

 I also had $30.00 in Kohl's bucks so I spent them on these shirts and one pair of shorts.  I paid $4.80 for the shirts and $1.97 for the shorts.  The shirts are in sizes that will fit the bigger boys.  The total came to about $32.00. As I was digging for the extra $2.00, I saw the register total go to $0.00.  We had been talking about why I was buying the shirts and this kind lady discounted the amount over $30.00. I have to tell you that I keep running into this type of giving on a regular basis.

 This is a dress I made by cutting the bottom from a tank top that I purchased on clearance from Kohl's and adding a skirt.  I still need to press the seams, but I was anxious to share it.
My sister Susan has a store in a little town called LaConner which is about 50 miles North of Seattle. It is on the Swinomish Channel. It is a favorite Saturday destination.  She took four of my dresses to her shop and offered them for sponsorship.  I went up to her store today and collected over $100.00 that people have given to sponsor. Some one and some two dresses.  It all adds up and confirms to me that God is blessing this project.
My cousin has created a website for me. It is not complete, but you can visit it at: http://www.netturtlestudios.com/evy/.  Eventually, I will have all of the dresses available for sponsorship featured there.  We have a couple of typos to correct and some other minor tweaking to do.
                                          
 I almost always take my camera with me when I go for a drive. Going to LaConner was no exception. Pepper and I took a little walk while my sister was busy with customers in her store.  This stairway is directly across the street from Susan's shop Remember Me.

 They lead up the hill to this house.  Which coincidentally is for sale.  It is a lovely little town if anyone is interested.

 I walked down to the waterfront and took this picture of the Rainbow Bridge, which connects the lands on either side of the Channel.

 My sister Susan's shop Remember Me. A sweet little shop filled with consignments and her own items. Antique and new. Furniture to small household items and knick knacks. She has also featured my knit items in her store.

To get to LaConner, you pass through some of Western Washngton's most fertile farm land. I saw acre upon acre of cabbage still maturing in the fields.

 I also saw many fields that have been harvested and put to sleep for the coming spring.

 And other fields that were being readied for the Spring planting.

 The road that this field was on is a very narrow windy road with absolutely no place to pull off of.  Luckily, it is not a well traveled road and I was able to stop and roll down my window to get this shot. It is a corn field that has been harvested.

 A tumble down barn on the corner where the road I was on connected with the main road.

Almost back out to the freeway, I came upon this tractor on the road. A common site in the farmland.

Yes, I did take its picture through my windshield as I was approaching it.  Maybe not the safest thing to do, but I really wanted to document it too, as a part of my drive today.

What did you do with your weekend?