Today

I went to my mother's house for the first time.  It was a good thing for me to do.  I fixed dinner for my brothers.  One had told me that dinnertime is so lonesome for him.  I swept and mopped the kitchen and dining room floors.  Putzed around, dug through a few things.  I am not really ready to do any major digging yet though. Actually, I felt a little like I was intruding in things that were not my business.  Things I had never seen and she had not mentioned.  I found one little mystery but I put it back.  I will look at it again, later.
I sat in her chair and smelled her, I cried, not as much as I thought I would though.  I am thinking I might go there once a week for a while.  Fixing dinner for my brothers is therapeutic for me too.  I used to have dinner ready when I would leave in the afternoon.
I miss her, I wake up every morning planning what I need to do for her on that day.  Then, I remember.