I have been spending some time with Kris. It has been a very heart wrenching journey. I must say first how proud I am of this daughter of mine. Her faith never waivers. As I was lying on her bed one evening holding her hand, bawling my eyes out, she kept reassuring me that it was all going to be OK. I know in my heart of hearts it will all be OK. I know that all that happens is by His design. Sometimes I argue with myself about which outcome is to win this war. If she dies, she has won the final trophy, Eternity with Jesus. If she lives, she has won the battle against cancer for the short term.
When I arrived at her home on Wednesday of last week, I was just in time to accompany her to her last radiation treatment. They were hitting the largest spots, trying to give her some relief from the pain. There is no possible way to radiate all of the hot spots in her body. In excess of 100. On Thursday she went to the hospital to have a port inserted under the skin on her chest. She has started calling it Chester. It is in the upper right side of her chest with a tube attached directly to her jugular vein. On Friday she had to have a tooth pulled. The only one she has ever lost as an adult, except for her wisdom's. That in itself was quite traumatic for her. It had an infection in it that the dentist thought would heal itself, but with the discovery of the Cancer and the need to begin Chemo, the infection had to be gone before they could proceed. They decided the fastest course was to pull it as antibiotics would take too long. When I left her on Friday, she was quite out of it and remained so most of the weekend, I am told. Needless to say, I bawled again as I drove out her driveway and down the freeway. Quite a dangerous thing to do.
I returned to her home on Wednesday of this week to find her sitting at the table with friends, smiling, joking and playing cards. What a blessing to drink in the beauty of that smile. She has been up most of today also, spending time with her amazing church family. There seems to be someone here all of the time. I am truly in awe of their love. They have also signed up to bring dinners to them every night (nearly) of the week. I say we truly have enough food here to feed a small third world country. I will go back home tomorrow and try to return again next Wednesday. However many hours she has left with us, I want to experience as many as I can without intruding on their private family time. I do recognize that the family needs to have time to be alone with one another during this period also. Her esophagus is burned quite severely from the radiation. It makes it very painful to swallow anything at all. Each day shows a little improvement there, but she still has not eaten anything solid for a week. Well, almost. I guess she forced herself to eat a piece of toast on Saturday. She told me today her new jeans are too big for her.
She will be going to the Oncologist on Monday. They will then map out the Chemo treatment. She does know that she will have to take a pill daily and a cocktail weekly. They just have to decide on the strength of the cocktail right now. The Dr. did tell her that he will keep her pain free. He also told her that she will have to do Chemo as long as she lives. He told her he has a patient who has been on Chemo for 20 years. We will see if we have the same results for her. I wonder if her friends are willing to provide dinners for the next 20 years:) Tomorrow night she plans to go play Farkle with some of her friends. Her first outing since she has been diagnosed. A good sign, I would say.
So, I end this little composition with my heart felt thank you to all who have prayed and are praying for her, her husband and children, and all of us as we travel this path we did not choose to travel at this time.
