On Wednesday I flew up to Anchorage

And met Tricia, Dave, Ben and Cooper.  They flew down from Bethel and we went to the Alaska State Fair at Palmer.  I lived in Anchorage for 11 years and never once went to the fair.  This was a first for me.

We saw a 1700+ pound pumpkin that was sadly, disqualified because the judges found a small hole in the bottom of it. A 1200 pound pumpkin wound up being the winner.

My Cooper, #5216 and his great big happy smile

We saw all of the fair things,  Here Ben # 5113 and Cooper #5216 are feeding and petting the animals in the petting area.

 I looked for Charolette and her amazing web, but did not find her.  I did not take any pictures of Wilbur either because I was really taken by the contented smile on this Mama's face as she nursed her little brood.

We got to watch baby chicks, ducks and something else in very tiny eggs hatch.

We also got to "People" watch.  We were both pretty amazed by the lack of clothing on this woman.  We were layered up so much and still cold and she was walking down the fairway like she thought she was in LA in July.

Cooper and Ben both got to jump for a while on a trampoline.  Of course they loved it.

After the trampoline, we parted for a while.  Gramma was to tired to walk any more. I actually sat down in the Craft Barn and snoozed for a few minutes.  Afterwards, I walked around enjoying the exhibits while the rest of the family was enjoying the rides.

This was by and far the most amazing exhibit of all. It is a wedding dress made of Doe skin, all hand beaded.  Someone made the dress and the bride did all of the beading.  There was a picture of her in it that would have taken your breath away.  She also beaded a head piece that was amazing.  I did not see it exhibited but it was  visible in the picture.

The family returned to collect Gramma.  Tricia brought me chocolate covered bacon on a stick.  We shared it as I did not feel like eating it all.  I must say it was a very interesting combination.  We hung around Anchorage on Thursday.  Dave flew back to Bethel because he had to work.  We did some school shopping for the boys and then I caught the 5:10 back to Seattle.

Anchorage sits in a bowl with the inlet to the west and the Chugach mountains to the south and east.  These are a couple of the glaciers I saw from 35000 feet.  They were amazing!

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And, finally an amazing sunset from 35000 feet.  We are above the clouds here.  Sadly, the sun was almost behind the airplane and I could not capture the incredible beauty of it with my camera.

Have I told you how much I LOVE Tricia's job?  If she did not have it, I would not be able to make these wonderful impromptu trips.

Wordless Wednesday/My Grandson's Sunflowers

She has been gone since February 13 2011. Love you and miss you Mama.

Me and three of my daughters holding my mother's hand the day before she left us.

When I was driving down the freeway today, God gave me this song. It is amazing how he knows exactly how to reach us.

As I have said so many times before, the two words He has given me are Faith and Trust.  How can that be so hard?  This song is a gentle reminder of both.

As a young mother

it was very difficult to find time for myself.  Privacy was always an issue too.  At any given moment, someone needed me.  The solution came when my husband would return from work.  We would have dinner and then I would run myself a bath.  A hot bath.  I would lock myself in the bathroom and soak.  I would sit in the tub and soak until the water was cold, drain the tub and refill it and soak some more.  During this time I also developed the habit of "talking" to God.  I could pray and meditate uninterrupted, if Stan was doing his job and keeping the kids away from the bathroom door.  It is a habit I have carried throughout my life.  I still bathe in the hottest water I can stand, I still (often) refill the tub if I have sat long enough for the water to cool down.  I still find this the best place to hold my conversations with God.  He has told me many things while I am in the tub.  It was there that He comforted me the year my baby Jeffery died, it was there He confirmed I would make my trip to Africa, and it was there that today He talked to me about what is happening in our family right now.
Sometimes I feel so weak and without faith because I am not accepting this as something I am suppose to just accept and go on with life.  I am fighting with all of my being.  I am arguing with him, I am begging him, I am pleading with him.  I cry every day.  One day, as I have shared before, He told me I had to have Faith and Trust.  I know I must turn it over to Him.  I, however, am human.  I am full of flaws and have a sin nature that makes me cling to what I know and fight what I do not know.  Today, I was discussing my weakness with Him.  Asking him for strength and peace.  He answered me.  He comforted me.  He told me that even though from the moment Mary conceived her Son, she knew also he would die, she pleaded with Him to not make her go through that pain.  He said she had not lost her faith when she would plead with him.  She was human also and she did not want her son to suffer.  I know that I do not measure up to Mary in any way except we are both mothers.  He reminded me today that He would never leave me or forsake me.  What a comfort to know we are not traveling this road alone.  He is right there with us.  I will cry, still.  I will plead, still. I will argue, still...............because I am her mother.  He will continue to listen and hold me up and give me the strength I need, because I am weak and with out Him I am void.  I will continue to talk with Him while I am soaking in the bath too, because that is what I have done for the past 46 years and why should I ever change something that works.

WHY

Can't I make it go away?
Can't I kiss it and make it better?
Can't I hold her close to my heart until she falls to sleep?
Can't I be strong?
Can't I walk in Faith?
Can't I Trust?

Wordless Wednesday-In the Garden