Finding Joy

About 21 years ago my daughter Tricia bought this sweet little Tea Party set for me cause she knows her mama is a sentimental old soul.  She knew I would want to have tea parties with my grands.  We had several with it and had lots of fun eating our cookies and drinking orange juice or chocolate milk from it.

She got it at Costco. It was well loved for about a year.

One day during one of our "Tea Parties"  Miss Amanda who was probably 3 or 4 years old had an Amanda tantrum and threw her tea cup across the room and broke it. The Tea Party got put in the box and pretty much forgotten until this week.

While wandering through Goodwill, I came across these two tea cups.  Now only someone who owned the tea party set would recognize them for what they were.  $.49 each!  Of course I bought them and brought them home.  All washed up and shining.

I have ll of my tea cups again and a spare.

Manda Pet, are you ready for another Tea Party with Gramma?

I know the world is in turmoil.  My State (Washington) seems to be being consumed by fire.  I can't get across the mountains to my retreat by the river. But sometimes, just sometimes you have to find joy in the small things.

Port Gamble Washington

Olympic Peninsula

A couple of weeks ago

Pepper and I drove across the mountains to Yakima.  I have an Aunt over there.  One of the two or three remaining of my parents generation.  She was the wife of mom's brother.  She will be 93 in a couple of weeks.  You know, really, I do want to live that long.  She has had a very good life and enjoys good health.  She still lives alone in the home she and my Uncle shared.  She does need a walker now and she does tend to repeat her stories more often as well as forget names.  But all in all, she is doing pretty good. I was not in a real hurry so instead of taking I-5 south and then 90 east, I meandered over the back roads.  This route takes me right past Snoqualamie Falls. It was time for a stretch break so I stopped and took a couple of pictures.  They were still quite full with snow  melt and runoff.

I spent two days with my Aunt and started home on Wednesday morning.  Quite by accident, I wound up going the wrong direction out of Yakima.  I decided that instead of turning around, I would continue on and go to Toppenish and Zillah which are a bit further down the valley.  I drove around Toppenish until I was able to find my Grandmothers house.  It has been all dolled up, but still has the same bones.  I wanted to take a picture of it, but got a bad case of the shy's. Silly me.  My childhood home was in Zillah, so I drove up to my home there.  Again a case of the shy.  I guess I will have to make another trip.  I think I may meet my cousin there in August so maybe we can go down together.

As I headed back up the freeway and got to Ellensburg, there was a sign along the highway that said that the drive from Ellensburg to the top of the pass was over an hour and half, so I took another detour. Had no reason to hurry at all.  I cut across Blewett pass and connected with Stevens pass to head west on.  Just as soon as I connected with Blewett, I came across this abandoned ranch. I had to stop and take a couple of pictures. I love the close up of the barn. I really am thinking of framing these two.  I had them printed in 11x16 prints and they really are great.

  

As usual, Pepper loves to go for rides, but she is even happier when we get home.

I get so frustrated

With myself.  I began blogging so I could keep a Journal of my life.  Also to make friends.  I have made many, but, I think they have given up on me posting regularly.  Let's see if I can remedy that.

 My last post was telling about the wonderful piece of property we had purchased on the Entiat River just north of Wenatchee Washington.  I posted a picture of the platform we built down near the river.  I spent one night on it freezing in our tent.  It has to go down in history as one of my worst nights ever.  I said I would not go back until I had a bed there.  Soooo we took a bed over.  In this picture, we are getting ready to leave so it is wrapped in a parachute, to protect the mattress from the elements.  My patio table and chairs are on top to keep the parachute down.  The wind blows down the canyon almost every day.

 On Memorial Day weekend my daughter Angie and her husband, grandson and daughter came over.  We had two of our other grandchildren with us as their parents were doing a big river float with friends.  In this picture are my Grandson Jonah, my Great Grandson Jayce and my Granddaughter Olivia.  They are trying out Papa's tractor.

 Even though we asked the owner to remove his garbage from the property, he did not.  I call this picture the Redneck trampoline.  My Granddaughter Abigail and Grandson Jonah are jumping on a roll of hog wire. We aren't too upset about him leaving it as we are being able to use much of what he left.  He even left the tractor the kids were on.  Stan has hot wired it and used it every time we go over.

According to Chelan county you can build a building without permit if it is under 280 sq feet.  Our building is, but they have decided they don't approve.  First they slapped a stop work on it saying it was larger than the allowed.  Next we were too close to the road, we weren't. Next we were too close to the river, wrong again.  The inspector said he would release us to continue.  However some woman sitting at her desk in town still is not satisfied and she wants the inspector to go inside to see what we are doing.

I have moved my bed inside.  They are not too happy about that either.  I told my builder son in law to just tell them that I am close to 70 years old, truth, I have a very difficult time walking, truth, and I cannot sleep on the ground, truth. Any one would be sleeping inside while they work on the property.  I am sure as you drive up the river and see all of the tiny buildings built along it there are people sleeping inside at night.  They are just being contrary and we may have to hire an attorney.

Since they stopped us, we only have half of the roof on.  This is my view as I lie in bed.

And this is the view out the windows.

                     
We see deer across the river every morning and evening.  These two have nice racks on them. They were getting ready to cross the river but changed their minds when they saw us watching. 
 There are also a couple of fawn across the river.

 The sun had just gone down behind the mountain.

Pepper is thinking it might be time to wake up and go wallow in the dirt.  She loves her freedom over there, but after one day she is ready to go home.

A neighbor told us how to drive around and up the mountain to see our property from above. Ours is the piece the upper side of the triangle created by the road and river.  If you look closely, you can see the cabin that is in limbo in the upper corner of the property beside the trees.  All of the property that you can see on the other side of the river is ours too.  It does not go up the mountainside though.  Sadly, there is a nearly 20,000 acre fire raging in the canyon right now.  It is downriver from us and I feel pretty confident it won't make it all the way up to us.  It may be wishful thinking on my part.  So far no homes have been lost which is good news.

Yesterday, when I cried

my heart out about Kris, that really was not what I meant to do.  I sat down to write about something entirely different and that is what came.

Actually, my intention was to show you pictures of our property.  We are so excited to have purchased.  This shot is of the river.  Entiat River in Eastern Washington.  We bought close to 8 acres.  Both sides of the river.

This shot is across the river.  Currently the river is too high for us to cross it.  There is no bridge. During the summer it will be an easy wade across.  Our property goes up into those trees.  Not sure how far though since we can't get across yet.  It is OK though, we wanted that part just for the kids to go exploring.

This mountain shot is taken from our property.  It is looking further up the valley.  Not sure of it's name yet.

We spent a night two weeks ago.  I am here to tell you, never again!! Not until it warms up or we have a cabin built.  It was SOOOOOOOOO cold.  Down in the 30's.  Two pair of pajamas, wool socks and a coat on.  As well as sleeping bag and down comforter over us.  Not only was it cold, but I had two panic attacks during the night. Closed into a tiny tent is not my idea of comfort.

Pepper loved it though.  She ran and ran and ran.  She is over on the neighbor property in this picture.  We don't have grass yet.

These geese were on the neighbors property too.  We think they may have a nest there. They floated down river and then flew back up about 1/2 hour later.

Across the river again.  I was watching the deer over there.

Stan is walking the road side of the property.  Checking where we might put a cabin.

Platform we built down near the river. It is to sleep on until there is a cabin.  If it warms up enough, I will actually take a bed over there and put it on the platform.  I am too old to sleep on the ground~~~~~ever again.
We are looking forward to lots of fun hours over there.  Perhaps some day moving onto the property permanently.

All I can say is that I am still getting used to

My new normal.
I guess life will never be the same.  I will miss her at every turn, something will always bring her to mind.  Be it something I read, see or smell.  She is always with me, yet she isn't.  People tell me it takes a long time, they say the pain gets less and less with each passing day. I am still waiting.  I know my life has to continue and I plod through every day, loving and caring for those who are still with me and missing the one who isn't. It affects my ability to blog and I really should not let it.  She would be so mad at me if she knew.  She told me to keep living and that I would be OK, yet I really am not.  Sometimes I feel so selfish.  I am not the only mother whose child has gone before her.  I won't be the last either.  Other times I feel so lost, so empty.  There was so much to tell her, so much I wanted her to know about how deeply I loved her.......I wonder, did she really know.  She had questions and I answered them, but did she believe me? Some day, soon, I will have my answer.  Some day, I will sit with her again and I will be able to answer those questions for her. If she does not know now, I will tell her then.
Really, that was not what I came here to write, I try to keep it inside, now it isn't any longer.  Now the world knows.
Krissy, it has been almost 16 months and still the tears flow every day.  I know it is not what you wanted.  It is not what I want either.  I want to remember you as the bright beautiful giving woman you were, yet always in front of all are the questions, the ones I don't know if you really believed me when I answered them for you.  Life is so full of if only's and mine is If Only I knew that you believed me.  I loved you with all of my heart and soul and I await the day we can sit together again.

Where Does the time go?

I cannot believe it has been over a month since I have been here.  I love blogging, I just find myself with so many irons in the fire these days that blogging has taken a back seat to everything else.
I am deep into fund raising for my upcoming trip to Africa.  I have a tentative date of November 2014 set for it.
I have a goal of taking 1000 dresses with me for the little girls I meet while I am there.  I sew with an organization called Dress a Girl International. Their goal is that every little girl should have a pretty dress.  We make very simple dresses and we give them wherever we see a need. In a third world country, one of our little dresses may also act as an insurance policy for the child wearing it.  Often children are stolen and sold into the sex trade.  It is known that little girls wearing the dresses we sew are less likely to be stolen because they look like they have someone who cares for and would miss them.  http://www.dressagirlaroundtheworld.com/

In my desire to take 1000 dresses with me, I have had a website created giving you the opportunity to sponsor as many dresses as you would like for the little girls in Tanzania and Congo where I hope to be traveling. Dresses for sponsorship
If I am able to sponsor all 1000 dresses, I will be able to take between 12 and 15 thousand dollars with me to fund the projects I am connected with over there.
One of my current ideas is to present fashion shows highlighting the dresses I will be taking with me. I would love to have the opportunity to do so at ladies luncheons and parties in the coming year. I can do this easily here in the Pacific Northwest, but am also willing to travel outside of my comfort zone to do so.  I have the ability to fly for free so I can go almost anywhere I am asked to come.  Perhaps you would consider hosting a "fashion show" at one of your future luncheons.  You can contact me through my website.  My phone number is there.

Below are three dresses I will be taking with me.  Just a sample of what is available for sponsorship.