Tuesday, March 26, 2013

A little bit of randomness

What a day!!  I babysit my granddaughter Olivia almost every day after school. I have been watching since her mom went back to work after she was born. Eight years ago.  Today, I also agreed to help out a neighbor and watch her two children. I do this on occasion when her regular sitter in not available.  This week the kids have early release so they are off the bus at one o'clock. It is only 2.5 blocks from my house to the bus, but I always meet the bus. Today...............I was not there when the bus came. I did not forget, really, I knew I was going to pick them up but I took a moment to put dinner into the crock pot. I did not check the clock so I did not see it was time to head down and pick them up. Just as I finished and was sitting at my counter for a moment, the door opened and Olivia hollered GRAMMA!!! Oh my gosh, I jumped! I looked at the clock and it was 1:11!!! I ran down the stairs and they were in the entry way, all three of them. Katie on crutches!  I apologized to them over and over.  I think I was more upset than they. I called my daughter at her work and asked her to tell the other mother.  They work together and I was REALLY worried how she would react. Fortunately, they both forgave me. I admit, I shed a few tears over this. We went upstairs and made some juice with my juicer and had juice and cookies for a snack.  Food always makes things better.
Tonight, I opened an e-mail from my son in law. I had asked him and the boys to come over for Resurrection Sunday dinner. They live about 100 miles from us.  Unfortunately, I had asked after they had already accepted another invitation. He told me to give him a little more notice so I shot back another mail asking if they would come for Christmas, hoping that would be enough notice.
The one I opened tonight was him accepting. I cried again. It will be our first Christmas without her. Theirs too and it really touches me that they would agree to spend it with us.
The tears are streaming now. I can barely see to type.  Better go wash my face.  I really wonder how long it takes for me to not melt into a puddle of tears over the slightest thing.
Oh yes, one more thing.  We are having an adoption this weekend. I won't go into to much detail because I am sure my daughter will want to write about it first.  But....I am knitting these for him.
His mommy asked for them a long time ago. I told her I would make them when we knew he was ours. I am about 2/3 of the way done. Have to have them finished by Thursday afternoon.  Guess I better get back on them.


Betsy said...

First of all CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS on the adoption. I can't wait to hear more. Secondly, don't beat yourself up Grandma. We all do things like this at some point. It wasn't intentional and I'm sure everyone knows that. No harm was done and everyone is happy. I don't know you well, but one thing I CAN tell through your messages and posts is how much you love your family and others. Now, let this go and celebrate the good things.

You also can melt into a puddle anytime you need to. Tears are cleansing and healing and you do not need to feel bad for them. God gave us tears for a reason. Jesus wept.

Have a lovely day and I'm continuing in prayer for you.

Roslyn said...

It will take more than a few months to reach the point when you are not so fragile, when you are learning to walk side by side with this indescribable grief, Evie. Maybe 9 months to a year? Or more? it just depends on the circumstances of the moment, some events are more able to trigger the pain, sometimes it takes a tiny blip to cause the flood of tears.
May the mercy and comfort of God & those who surround you pour the balm of Gilead over you my dear.
From one who knows.............


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