It has been a long emotional week. On Tuesday my mother had some sort of a spell. She kept going in and out or reality. She never lost her conscienceness, but she would just leave reality for a while. My sister called me several times during the morning. Finally at about noon I went down to check things out. We were almost all there. We were really pretty sure that we were telling her goodbye. She rallied during the afternoon and by today she was nearly back to her normal. She was very talkative when I arrived this morning. Gina brought the kids down and made lunch for us. It was a nice diversion from the day. Fettuccine with broccoli and zucchini. She had told the kids that Great Gramma was getting ready to go to heaven and they needed to go see her one more time. Poor Caleb had a little trouble making up his mind to come down. It finally came out that he thought he would have to stay there and watch her die. It was good for them to see her and see her on one of her better days. It would have been bad for them to have seen her on Tuesday. As the day went on, she became more quiet and by afternoon she was very tired and slept most of the afternoon. Waking and sleeping throughout the afternoon. She has also had the crud that I have, which really wears her down. I know how bad I have felt all week, so it is not hard to imagine how she feels.
I also had to fill out her directive, take it to the Dr. for his signature and pick it up today on my way to her house. I showed it to my brother and told him where I was going to store it. He read it and then walked down the driveway to his truck. I watched him for a while and realized he was crying. I went down and held him and we cried together. He told me he felt like I had just signed our mothers death warrant. I told him I knew exactly what he was saying because I had said the same thing to one of my daughters while I struggled with filling it out. I my heart, I know the right choice was made, but it was still very difficult.
I talked with another brother yesterday and he told me that mother has been hearing dad call her. He has been gone for 20 years now.
I am still fighting with the crud. I usually get it every winter and finally get over it by spring. I am thinking I will need to get my prescription for my inhaler refilled. Maybe I can be lucky and it won't hang on as long. It would be nice.
On the fun side, I have decided to buy new dishes. The kids bought me a set about 10 years ago, but they are all chipped and nasty looking so I made the executive decision to let them go and get new. I bought two place settings of brown Fiesta ware this week. I love it!! Tomorrow I am going to go buy at least three place settings in cinnamon and one more in brown. I would also like to get a gold color if I can find it. Right now it is on sale for 40 percent off and then I also have a 20 percent coupon to add to it. Can't beat that one. The cinnamon matches the color of my kitchen wall exactly. I bought a small bowl and brought it home to check. I did not want to buy a complete set and have to return it. Now I am ready to go back and make the plunge.
I really am glad to see this weekend. I do still have two more days to do on this weeks Beth Moore study, I think I will get them done.
Remember people NPR IS funded by you. They proved with this act that they are in no way interested in any form of fair or balanced programing. NPR eats its own. Most likely he will be far better off free of them and their restrictions. I have to admit he makes me so angry that there are times I yell at the TV. I am waiting now to see how many Liberals will rally to his defense.
Beth Moore Bible Study I joined. We are studying, Jesus, the One and Only.
I did not do real well last week, just got through the first day and started on the second day. Too many distractions. So, this morning I said I was going to finish todays study if it killed me!! Not done yet, but just one question left. Whew!! Of course some life happened between now and when I sat down this morning. More will before I answer the last question too.
Laundry to fold yet and a baby shower to attend as well as some floors that need cleaned. Better go get busy. Tonight I will have to read Isaiah 49:6 and then answer the question, Why was Christ not sent for the nation of Israel alone?
Right now, though, I need to wrap one of my beautiful knits for a gift and clean some floors.
while blog surfing, I came across Mel's Backyard blog. She was hosting a pay it forward. I have played before and enjoyed it so I thought I would play again. I left my comment. When she asked for my address as I was one of the first three to comment, which is one of the rules, I sent it to her and promptly forgot all about it. Imagine my surprise last week when I received a nice little package in the mail. From someone I had no idea who she was and an address I did not recognize. I opened it to find four bars of scented homemade soap. There are two bars of peppermint rose, and two of lavender. As well as a nice note that said, Surprise!! Surprise!! Doing this was a lot of fun. I hope you enjoy it. Best wishes Mel. I racked and racked my brain trying to figure out what it was and why. I did tie it into something from the blog but that was as far as I could get. Finally I wrote Mel a note to thank her and admitted to her my confusion. She sweetly sent me the link to her blog where I had commented. Embarrassed hardly describes it.
So, now it is my turn to Pay it Forward.
The rules are that the first three to comment on my blog will receive a handmade gift from me.
I will have one year to send it to you.
You must continue the circle by "Paying it Forward" yourself.
Your gift must be handmade.
I am adding one more rule. If you do not receive a gift from me within nine months, please remind me. Nine months because that still gives me time to get something whipped together and sent out within my one year time limit:)
I am so blessed that I, at 64 years of age still have my mother with me. Up until this year she has been very alert. We are witnessing a very steady decline in her awareness in the past five to six months. Confusion is almost every day now.
What I wanted to write about though, is that I am officially one of the Sandwich Generation. It was not so evident as it was today. The Sandwich Generation are those who care for their elderly parents as well as their grandchildren or children. Squeezed between two groups of people who need you 24/7. Fortunately, I do not have to spend 24/7 with our mother. There are others who care for her too.
Today, though, I did feel very alone in the job. There was no one to spell me for the afternoon when I needed to be 25 miles from her home to pick up a granddaughter from school. Even though it is only 25 miles, it is nearly an one hour drive since it is not freeway driving. Olivia gets home from school at 3:55 and I usually pick her up at the bus stop.
At 2:30 I finally had mother and Darius in the car for the trip north to Arlington. We arrived at my home at 3:30 so I could unlock the door for another grandchild to come in after school. She wanted to wait at my home until time for the high school football game. My home is just four blocks from the high school. Unlocked the door, picked up Olivia at 3:55, started back down the highway to mother's home, stopped at the bank for money for her, stopped for gas, fielded a call from Olivia's mother because she was off work and wondered where I was. Made it to mother's home at 5:00, got her settled back into her chair, told my brother all that happened to her today, turned around drove back home. Arrived home at 6:15, Angie picked up Olivia, Bryan picked up Darius and I collapsed on the couch where I still am. 100 miles of running back and forth and I am exhausted!!
A cold snap last night. I went out to bring in my house plants that have spent the summer outside. My potted strawberry plant caught my eye with its bright red leaves. I thought I would try to take a picture of it so I got my camera. I could not see any image on the screen so I just pointed it and hoped it was right when I shot. Since it turned out, I just started taking pictures of anything and everything. This is the lower level of my deck. The gate in the corner opens out into the common area of the neighborhood. Then I turned around and shot a picture of my yard, down towards the far end. My swing is visible and the red behind it is my impatients. Next I clicked the willow tree that is just outside of our fence. I actually planted this tree from a small branch I took from my uncle's tree about 12 years ago. I knew it would grow to big for my tiny yard, so it got planted up in the common area but close enough to my property line that I get full benefit from it. In the front of the picture is my wisteria. Lastly, I took a picture of my curly willow. I have two, I also planted them from a branch I acquired about 12 years ago. These trees flank my lower deck. They are barely visible in the top picture. All of these pictures were taken at about midnight last night. I am not a huge fan of the fall season, but I did find beauty in my garden as it is winding down. Looking forward to next spring and more flowers:)
These cute longies are made from a 100% wool called Tye Dye. I love the colors. Looks like my iron may have spit on the pant leg while I was steaming it. Will take a different picture later;) This 100% wool longie/skirt is made from Plymouth yarn. I love the way it knits up. The stitches are very even with little variation. They really remind me of fall. The little white pantie part of the longies are made with extra room for diapers. These can also be worn as soakers over cloth diapers as they are made from wool and wool will wick the moisture away from babies bottom. Arlington High School colors are blue and gold. This hat was a special order for a friend who goes to all of the home games.
Please, if you have friends who are looking for baby gifts, send them to me. As you already know, all proceeds go to the Church in Dar es Salaam.
I have chosen to not join Etsy because of the percentage they take. I would either have to raise my prices much higher to cover those costs or take from what would go to the Church. If you have friends who are interested, they can go to my facebook page and see all of my knits in my knit album.
Just a simple prayer request from those of you who read my blog.
My darling mother became ill yesterday and we had to hospitalize her. I think mostly for tests, she was doing better by the time I left her at 2AM this morning.
I know how blessed our family has been to have her for so long with very little health problems, but as the time draws nearer it is very difficult to watch her decline.
She does have a DNR on file and I will definitely honor that, but the daughter in me wants to cry out NO NO NO you have to keep her here for us!
I am not asking for prayers to keep her here, rather for prayers for God's will and for the family to know it and accept what ever that may be.
There are 10 or us still living and the battle will become very heated, I know. I am thankful that mother did entrust me with the power of attorney as far as all of her care is concerned, but I have felt the weight of the decisions in the past and know there are still family battles ahead. I am afraid that there is the chance of huge family division over this.
Thank you for all of your prayers yesterday, today and in the future.