Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Retreat time.

Since Krissy died, I have had a very difficult time going out and about. I truly would rather stay home where I know I am safe. I tend to melt into a puddle at any given moment. Just trying to write this makes me cry. I tell you this because my church had a retreat for the women last weekend. I did not sign up. I did not want to go. I absolutely hate crying in public. I do not want people thinking I do it for attention or sympathy. That is not why I do. I do it because my heart is broken and the hole is still huge and raw.
My friend Marlene kept encouraging me to go and I kept telling her I wanted to stay home. One Sunday, after service the Pastors wife stopped me and asked me to do the centerpiece decorations for the Tea Party on the last day of the retreat.

The grounds at the Retreat Center I went to over the weekend.

I looked at her rather strangely and said I would if I decided to go. I came home and mulled it over for a while, thinking it rather strange of her asking when I had not even signed up. I mentioned to my husband that I was feeling a bit like I was being ambushed, telling him what had transpired after church.  His reply was that it would be good for me to go. On the following Thursday, I also mentioned to my friend Marlene that I was feeling ambushed. She looked at me and said, "Well, you are going." Again I argued that I had not made up my mind to go.
I will admit it was very restful.

It was then that she told me that "someone" had signed me up and paid for me to go.  I almost lost it.  I told Marlene that no one needed to sign me up or pay for me.  If I decided to go, I could afford to pay for myself and that there are several women in the church who probably would like to go but are staying home because they could not afford it. Needless to say, I was very frustrated. I fumed all afternoon until it hit me that the someone was Stan. When he came home and I confronted him, he tried to play dumb but I was on to him. I did tell him I wished he had asked me first.  His answer, "It will be good for me." I resigned myself, I was going.
The finished Tea Party table.
So, with a week to go before the retreat, I started thinking centerpieces. There is a lady in our church who has always done all of the decorating. Because of her husband's health she was not going this year. I did not want to replicate her style so I started thinking and searching for a different idea. That is when I found the stacked tea cup idea.
Close up of the centerpiece.

They were a hit. I will admit also, that the retreat was very restful. It was nice to not have to worry about what needed done at home. AND............the food was good :)

Miss Abigail Evalina Gae being baptized.

But the highlight of my weekend~~~~?? My Granddaughter Miss Abigail Evalina Gae made a public proclamation of her faith by being baptized! A total surprise to her Gramma. One that delighted her no end.

P.S. I did break down. I did melt into a huge puddle and my dear friends Mary and Claudia held me while I did. And yes, I was totally humiliated and mortified.



Betsy said...

I can only imagine how you felt at being "ambushed". I'm sure everyone was thinking about how much you needed the retreat time and refreshing of your heart. I hope that it was a time of joy for you. The grounds look beautiful. And......congratulations on the baptism of your granddaughter. I looking forward to that day with each if our grandchildren.

Madeline's Album said...

What a beautiful place for a retreat. Your centerpieces turned out great. I know the feeling of how people try to get you to do things when you are down. Sometime I just want to scream at them let me alone, but I hold my tongue. It was nice that you were able to see your granddaghter baptised. Have a blessed day. Madeline

Roslyn said...

Evie I know exactly what you are saying this is entirely proper for a grieving Mother. I did not want to go anywhere for a year after Matt died, the first couple of months not even to church & even then when I did I sat in the back & wept the entire service through. I would be walking around Costco because I had to shop for food, and the tears were running down my face there was no stopping them & I didn't even care what anyone thought. I actually did not even think about anyone else around me.
Driving down the highway the tears would flow, in the shower I would cry my eyes out. They never dry up entirely Evie, I still weep for missing my son nearly 7 years later.

bj said...

Everything they do or say is because they care. I am the same way about mourning in private.


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