Dear Internal Revenue Service:
On this April 15th tax return due date you will find enclosed my
2008 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes.
Please note the attached article from the USA Today newspaper,
dated 12 November, wherein you will see the Pentagon (Departmentof Defense) is paying $171.50 per hammer and NASA has paid$600.00 per toilet seat.
I am enclosing four (4) toilet seats (valued @ $2,400) and
six (6) hammers (valued @ $1,029), which I secured at Home Depot,
bringing my total remittance to $3,429.00. Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return. You can do this inexpensively by sending them one (1) 1.5 inch Phillips Head screw (see aforementioned article from USA Todaynewspaper detailing how H.U.D. pays $22.00 each for 1.5 inch Phillips Head Screws). One screw is enclosed for your convenience.
To recap my enclosures:
Four toilet seats
Six hammers and
It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I lookforward to paying it again next year.
A Satisfied Taxpayer